6w1d

OUR BABY HAS A HEARTBEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Got to start out with that first!

So the u/s was at 2pm. DH worked it out with work, so he was able to go. I was so nervous. I had another small brown spotting again this morning, so of course I'm all freaked out. It was the most nervous I've been yet.

I get prepped, get on the table, and in goes the vag stick u/s. First we see the gestational sac...looked pretty round so I was already pretty happy with that. Then we see the yolk sac, and that is round and bright, so that was looking good. And then the baby....with a flicker in the center of it's chest! As soon as I saw the movement, I looked at the screen and said, "Oh my God, is that the heartbeat!?" And the tech said, "yup, that's it". I, of course, started crying, grabbed DH's face with my left hand, and he started crying. Then, just as I couldn't think that moment could get any better, she turned the sound on and we heard the heartbeat. At first, I thought it was mine. I said, "is that my heartbeat" she said "nope, that's your baby's". And then I still didn't believe it. I said "Are you sure??" And she was like, "yup, that's it!" It was incredible.

She did all kinds of measurements; measured the baby a few times, to be sure (and by the way, baby measured perfectly to 6w1d). This little one came from my right ovary for sure - nice corpus luteum still present...none on the left (so Karen, there was only 1 from the start).

The tech took SO many pictures, it was funny. She was great. I told her our story before she did it, and how important it was that she tell me, straight up, if something doesn't look right. She was awesome.

So, everything looked and checked out fine. Turns out the spotting is coming from some old blood that is sitting around my cervix. Apparently, as the placenta grows so does the uterus, and the placenta *sort of* slightly detaches (only just a little - it's very minor) and this is the cause of the bleeding - it's sort of like implantation spotting. Anyway, Dr. Gay said it was fine and some women have this and some don't. No need for worry. He told me to call him if it got worse, or if it changes colors (like pink or red). I love Dr. Gay; he is wonderful.

So, it's pretty surreal. It's hard to explain because I'm so happy that we got to see a heartbeat (HUGE milestone - one we've never gotten to before), and while it easies my fears *a little*, it does not take away all the fear. I don't think you understand unless you've experienced several losses; the impact and impression that that leaves is hard to forget.

So, HB was 118 beats/min. Perfect.

We'll go back in 2 weeks (12/21) for 8 week u/s, just to be sure everything still looks ok. We will not have to go this Sat, since we went today.

Still milestones and hoops to jump through, but we are in the right direction.

Don't stop praying.